Snow Angels
by Kait
Summary: post- "Fly Away" fic. Lilly and Scotty have a talk and end up growing a little closer.


I realize the dialogue here is a little minimal...it's meant to reflect the burgeoning relationship between Lilly and Scotty. Am I the only one who notices how terribly uncomfortable they can be with each other?! Hopefully with time their partnership will grow to be more easy and playful... ;)  
  
Snow Angels (a post-Fly Away fic) by Kait, September 2004  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: I don't Cold Case or these characters...they belong to Jerry Bruckheimer. I'm just borrowing em.  
Spoilers: Fly Away  
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Dylan, because continuing the Lilly/Scotty angle from Fly Away was her idea.  
  
Lilly sat in the corner of her living room, staring at her TV as the snow fell outside her window. It'd been a draining day...an entirely draining case, in fact.  
  
Lilly was was spending the evening watching some old home movies. She was trying to remain detached as she viewed them, but every once in awhile she'd get a twinge of something. The scenes of her childhood could invoke some rather bittersweet feelings in her... Right now, the video was showing an approximately six-year-old Lilly and her mother playing in the snow.  
  
Hey Mom, you make the mommy snow angel, and I'll make the baby snow angel! the younger Lilly was exclaiming. Lilly the adult smiled, watching the slightly fuzzy tape. Hey...if we hold our hands in the snow, the snow angels can be holding hands! little Lilly came up with. Lilly couldn't help giggling at this.  
  
The doorbell rang right then. Lilly frowned, wondering who it could be possibly be at this hour. It just better not be Kite, she thought to herself, getting up from her seat. She pressed stop on the video and then went over to see who her visitor was. Lilly unlocked the door and opened it.  
  
To Lilly's surprise, it was her partner at the door. Hey Scotty. she said, pulling the door open wider. What brings you here? This was very unusual...it was the first time her partner had ever shown up at her door. In fact, they'd never really socialized outside of work before at all.  
  
Scotty said, giving her a sideways smile. I was just in the neighborhood...just wanted to see how you were.  
  
Lilly smiled back a little. You want to come in? she offered, stepping back.  
  
Sure, thanks. Scotty said, walking into the apartment. Lilly closed the door behind him. Sure is warmer in here. Scotty said, taking off his shoes.  
  
Lilly agreed. A lot of snow out there. There was a moment of silence. Hey, come sit down. Lilly offered, motioning to the couch.  
  
Yeah, thanks. Scotty said. He followed her over to the little living area and sat down on a chair opposite to her. Hey...nice place you got here. he noted, looking around the room.  
  
Lilly said. I like it. She smiled a little, waiting for him to say something else.  
  
He did. So...I just wanted to see how you were...after the case, you know. Scotty said, sounding slightly uncomfortable.  
  
Lilly shrugged. I'm okay... But...thanks, Scotty. she added after a moment. She appreciated her partner's thoughtfulness, but sometimes, like now, there was this awkwardness between them. Lilly attempted a smile.  
  
But Scotty wasn't finished. Hey, Lil...listen. he began. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about...about what I said the other day. About your mom, I mean...I don't know what happened when you were a kid. I guess I just...I just want it to be good. he said rather fecklessly. I mean, you're my partner. I didn't want to think about you having a bad time. ...I guess it's kind of selfish of me. he admitted, looking down.  
  
Lilly was watching her partner intently. No, Scotty, it's okay. she said. I don't think you're selfish. I see what you're saying...don't worry about it. We just grew up differently, that's all.  
  
Well, I am sorry if things were kinda tough. Scotty said.  
  
Lilly shrugged. Yeah, well...my mom had us way too young, and...she wasn't a bad person, she just wasn't responsible. she said simply. She wasn't ready to give up her own life to be a parent...we never had any money...you know. Things just could've been better. Lilly finished.  
  
Scotty just nodded, watching her and not saying anything.  
  
And I know I was kinda prickly about this case...it just hit a little too close to home. Lilly said wearily.  
  
Well...maybe if you saw your mom in Rosie, and yourself in Toya...I can see it happening. Scotty acknowledged.  
  
Lilly nodded a little. I know I let it get to me, but...I really am okay. she said.  
  
Yeah, Lil...you're always okay. Scotty said, chuckling a little. I guess I do know that by now...  
  
Lilly laughed a little too. She ran a hand through her messy hair and shook her head. she said. I'm okay.  
  
There was a small silence between the two partners. After a moment, Lilly spoke again. Hey, you know what, Scotty? What you said about having good times...it got me thinking. she admitted. She reached for the remote and hit play' again. The scene of Ellen and Lilly Rush playing in the snow resumed, and Lilly pointed to the screen. Me and my mom. she said unnecessarily.  
  
Scotty said, already watching the screen intently. Hey...look at that. You were a cute kid, Lil. he observed.  
  
Lilly smiled. They watched the rest of the snow scene in silence, and then the scene flipped.  
  
That's my sister's birthday. Lilly said. She's the older one. On the tape, Lilly and a slightly bigger girl were standing at a table with a birthday cake. Lilly was jumping up and down with excitement as her sister blew out the candles. Both girls began picking out the candles and licking the ends, giggling.  
  
We always did that, too. Scotty noted, smiling.  
  
You get me a cake, I'll still do it. Lilly told him, her eyes dancing.  
  
Christmas was next, with Lilly and her sister in dresses. Lilly wondered if Scotty was taking in some of the details that hinted of the way she'd grown up...the poor repair the apartment was in, mismatched furniture, the slightly tattered clothes she and her sister had on... Nevertheless, the little girls on the tape seemed completely oblivious to all that as they ran around the tree and shook their presents. Their mother was in this video, too, and she caught Lilly and her sister and pulled them both down in her lap. Both girls were breathless and giggling, and their mother kissed each girl's cheek before she let them go again.  
  
A minute later the scene flipped to a small blow-up pool on the balcony and the girls in bathing suits. Uh, I don't think we took that many videos. Lilly offered rather lamely.  
  
Hey, I think they're good. Scotty told her.  
  
Part of a school play followed, and then the scene cut to little Lilly holding a cat and trying to kiss it's nose. Lilly leaned forward, remembering her old cat fondly and wanting to see this scene. I was always a cat person. she said, almost to herself. Unfortunately, the tape cut out then. I guess that's the end. Lilly said, staring at the fuzzy screen. She reached for the remote and hit mute'.  
  
That was pretty neat...all of it, but I think I liked the snow angels part best. Scotty said, smiling a little.  
  
Me, too. Lilly said truthfully.  
  
There was a pause, and then Lilly looked up at Scotty, smiling wanly.  
  
So...you were right, you know. I guess there were some good times. Lilly admitted. ...It just feels like I have to look hard to find them, sometimes. she added, her voice soft.  
  
Scotty just nodded, watching her.  
  
Lilly shrugged. Anyway....I'm glad I got the tapes out tonight.  
  
Thanks for letting me watch with you. Scotty said. I hope I didn't interrupt your evening too much...  
  
No, no way...I'm glad you stopped by. Lilly said honestly, standing up. Scotty did the same, and Lilly started to walk with him to the door. I really am, Scotty...thanks.  
  
Hey...anytime, partner. Scotty replied, smiling. He began to put on his shoes.  
  
Lilly suddenly felt as though a weight had been lifted from her chest, and she suddenly felt more lighthearted than she had in ages. She was glad her partner had forced her to think about the happy times she'd had as a child. And she really was glad he'd come to talk to her...it was like they'd forged a bit of closeness. It was nice.  
  
Scotty reached for the door, and Lilly walked outside with him. They just looked at each other a moment, and then Scotty smiled at her. Have a good night, Lil. he said.  
  
You too. Lilly responded, nodding. She leaned on the porch railing as he walked down the steps and into the snowy night.  
  
Scotty gave her a wave from the sidewalk. See ya tomorrow.  
  
Bye, Scotty. Lilly said, smiling. Somehow, at that moment there was more Lilly wanted to say to her partner, but she didn't know exactly what. She wanted to do something silly, like call him back and invite him to make snow angels with her, perhaps. Instead Lilly impulsively leaned down and grabbed a handful of snow off her walk. She packed it into a ball and called to her partner, Hey, Scotty?  
  
Scotty said, turning back around. The snowball hit him squarely in the chest. Lilly couldn't help giggling.  
  
Oh, Lil... Scotty said, shaking his head and bending down to make a snowball himself. You're gonna get it... He tossed his snowball at Lilly, who shrieked and jumped out of the way. The snowball hit the side of her house. Ohh, you're lucky! Scotty mock-threatened her. You just wait until tomorrow...  
  
Lilly laughed, and watched his figure retreat into the night. She stayed outside for another few minutes just watching the snow and thinking. The cold eventually drew her back indoors.  
  
Olivia meowed, and Lilly absently picked the orange cat up and began to stroke her fur, still lost in thought. After their conversation outside the hospital, she'd almost resented Scotty for having an apparently idyllic childhood. Now...she appreciated him at least trying to understand what she, and Toya, and so many other children went through growing up. Her partner did care, and that meant something to Lilly.  
  
Lilly set Olivia down and went to take her videotape from the VCR. She put it back in its place in the drawer...she'd watch it again, but probably not for awhile. Sometimes it was hard to accept, but Lilly knew she couldn't change the past...for herself, for Rosie and Toya, for anyone else. The past was just that, the past...and it would always be there.


End file.
